You know you have enough horsepower when:

  • You drive faster than your guardian angel can fly
  • You get a personal thank you note from the Emir of Kuwait for your help in supporting the economy.
  • Norbert Singer (Porsche factory race engineer) calls to ask you a question.
  • Your neighbors complain about the sonic boom every morning when you leave for work
  • Boeing sends engineers to your house for some pointers.
  • You rev your engine, and people in LA run for their lives
  • When your local race shop says "I don't know how we can spend any more of your money."
  • You lay two black strips of rubber down the length of your driveway every morning on your way to work.
  • Tire manufacture's warrantees exclude your car by name.
  • Marlboro pays you 40 Million to put their logo on your car.
  • Insurance companies create a new category just for you.
  • Your neighbors complain about the sonic boom every morning when you leave for work
  • You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
  • When you have more horsepower than brain power
  • You get a volume discount at both The Tire Rack, and your local traffic court.
  • Your horsepower exceeds your weekly salary.
  • Michael Schumacher pays to drive your car.
  • You leave rubber on the pavement exiting one corner, all the way to the next.
  • Dr. Porsche (or Enzo Ferrari) rolls over in his grave.
  • You don't lust for Jerry Seinfeld's mythical Porsche 959.
  • You stop working on your engine and buy a wind tunnel to improve your top end.
  • You can start in 5th and not notice a difference (or - still smoke your tires).
  • Frank Williams and Ron Dennis get into a bidding war over you.
  • You are finally able to prove all those theories about the speed of sound.
  • You take a drive, get out, look back, and watch yourself get there.
  • You are afraid to drive your car.
  • Enough horsepower, what's that?
  • You can make the Kessell run in less than 12 parsecs
  • Even Damon Hill can win the world championship in your car.
  • You go sideways so often you forget which end is supposed to be in front.
  • Your local power company contacts you regarding the use of your car for peak load power generation.
  • Your wife simply says "Warp 7, Mr. Sulu.", when she wants you to take her for a spin.
  • You start scouting the local Army-Navy store for a surplus g-suit.
  • You start running red lights, as they appear green from doppler shift.
  • You plot stealing that big tank of NOX every time you visit the dentist.
  • You can't drive your car in the rain.
  • You need FAA clearance to leave your driveway.
  • You spend more on tires than on food.
  • You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
  • You have to add a Parachute to slow down
  • You see the Space Shuttle Astronauts waving to you, in your rearview.
  • Your G Forces exceed your IQ (or weekly salary).
  • A road that was once paved smooth is now full of pot holes from your starts.
  • You're watching the tape of "In Car 956" on fast-forward mode just to keep from falling asleep.
  • You're driving East and never see the sun set.
  • You have to replace your brake pads at the end of each run group.
  • You've installed dragster parts to keep your car from wheelying back too far.
  • You start building a car for your wife (or) you start working on your wife's car.
  • You give Andial your Visa number and they say, "Sorry, but...".
  • The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
  • Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
  • You look through the ads in Excellence and don't see anything you want.
  • You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper. (Sorry)
  • You have to go to the track to buy gas.
  • Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
  • Your local cops purchase a Vintage CanAm car, just to be able to catch you
  • You win a F1 race.
  • You can't improve your car without Patrick Head & John Barnard's help.
  •     a. Patrick Head and John Barnard are so excited by the challenge they agree to do it.
  •     b. They fail.
  •     c. Enzo is so excited by the challenge he comes back to help.
  • You can't find any cars worthy to race against, so you have to start your own series.
  • Tony George is so threatened by your series that when you don't let him manage it, he throws a temper tantrum and starts yet another series.
  • Bernie Eclestone shows up at your house to see if your car meets regulations.
  • The Bonneville salt flats are to short for you to find out your top speed.
  • You go through transmissions like potato chips.
  • You are crowned King, the undisputed ruler and all knights pledge their undying allegiance to you.
  • You have more than you can safely control, such as any teenager in a 5 liter Mustang.
  • Your car goes through rear tires like potato chips.